CONFLICT AND POWER
Dealing with Conflict
"Ships In The Night"
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly
Say what you mean and it turns to a fight
Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south
You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch
Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade
Trying to believe in your silent own way
Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away
Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain
And pops stayed the same and your moms moved away
How many of our parents seem to make it anyway
We're just fumbling through the grey
Trying find a heart that's not walking away
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm at the airport waiting on a second plane
Had to pack and you had cramps and I was late
Headed to a red carpet they won't know my name
Riding in silence all that we wanna say
About to board when you call on the phone
You say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home"
Feels like we're learning this out on our own
Trying to find a way down the road we don't know
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night letting cannon balls fly
Say what you mean and it turns to a fight
Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south
You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch
Chasing your dreams since the violent 5th grade
Trying to believe in your silent own way
Cause we'll be ok... I'm not going away
Like you watched at fourteen as it went down the drain
And pops stayed the same and your moms moved away
How many of our parents seem to make it anyway
We're just fumbling through the grey
Trying find a heart that's not walking away
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm at the airport waiting on a second plane
Had to pack and you had cramps and I was late
Headed to a red carpet they won't know my name
Riding in silence all that we wanna say
About to board when you call on the phone
You say "I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home"
Feels like we're learning this out on our own
Trying to find a way down the road we don't know
Turn the lights down low
Walk these halls alone
We can feel so far from so close
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
And I'm gonna find my way
Back to your side
Like ships in the night
You keep passing me by
We're just wasting time
Trying to prove who's right
And if it all goes crashing into the sea
If it's just you and me
Trying to find the light
Like ships in the night
You're passing me by
You're passing me by
Like ships in the night
Relation of Song to: Dealing with Conflict, Competitive Fighting
The singers style of fighting in this song is competitive. According to Guerrero et al.,"Competitive fighting is characterized by an uncooperative orientation and direct style of communication. This style has been called direct fighting, distributive, domination,controlling, and contentious. As these labels suggest people with a competing style try to control the interaction so they have more power than their partner."(1) We see this displayed in the lyrics, "We're just wasting time. Trying to prove who's right." The singer appears to be the antagonist of this song and tale however.
Yielding Fighting
The protagonist of this song has a yielding style. According to Guerrero et al.,"The yielding style is cooperative and indirect. People who this style forgo their own goals and desires in consideration of the partner. This style has also been labeled obliging and accommodating."(2) We can see the main character of this song story display this in the lyrics, "Fist fly from my mouth as it turns south. You're down the driveway... I'm on the couch," and, "About to board when you call on the phone
You say 'I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home.'" These lyrics describe a person who takes the blame to accommodate the partner in fighting. They are fighting with the earlier described competitive person, so the indirect and direct difference in their fight style intensifies the argument. One enjoys the fight and that is tearing the other apart. They are "passing" each other by because they are fighting different ways. If they took the time to collaborate they could finally stop the cycle they have going on.
You say 'I'm sorry. I'll be waiting at home.'" These lyrics describe a person who takes the blame to accommodate the partner in fighting. They are fighting with the earlier described competitive person, so the indirect and direct difference in their fight style intensifies the argument. One enjoys the fight and that is tearing the other apart. They are "passing" each other by because they are fighting different ways. If they took the time to collaborate they could finally stop the cycle they have going on.